Greetings everyone – 12StepFamily Editor here. I wanted to share an anonymous alanon testimonial recently sent via the website’s email. I thought it was incredibly insightful and emotionally engaging in terms of a real account of how living with addiction affects everyone. It is written by the daughter of an alcoholic. Anyway, please find the original message below. Also, please leave any comments with your thoughts for the anonymous author or of your general experiences with the Alanon 12 step programs. Thanks. 12StepFamily Editor.
Hello,
I am the daughter of an alcoholic and drug-addicted father, who is very thankful of the alanon 12 step programs. I enjoy coming to this website, and wanted to contribute to it by submitting some of my thoughts on what it has meant, for me, to be part of a family with alcoholic and drug addict member, as well as part of a family that has found invaluable help in AA, NA, Alanon, and Nar-anon. Here it goes…
Even though by most standards I am well-adapted individual, it would be foolish and arrogant for me to assume that I was able to walk out of a household with an addicted father and codependent mother unharmed and untainted; I am one of the opinion that addiction affects everyone. And although my entire self is not defined by these experiences, there are very few other things that have impacted me as deeply.
Alanon and Nar-anon have helped me recognize many wounds I had been ignoring, as well as recognizing that only I have the power to heal them. Blaming my parents for my current state would not only be selfish and an utter waste of time, but it would also be a ball-and-chain that keeps imprisoned to resentment, impeding and stagnating my growth. For this reason, I felt that forgiveness was what crucial for me to begin moving on and for me to begin my path towards wellness; forgiving all the adults that were my life (as I blamed all of those who could have “saved” me from my situation), understanding no one’s actions were carried with the intent of personally hurting me, and gaining enough perspective to know that my parents did the best they could under the circumstances and state in which they were in. Today, my dad, a recovering addict (and active member of AA and NA), with true repentance asks for forgiveness, and I can tell him that even if he didn’t ask for it, I would have granted it.
With letting go of the anger, the resentment, and the blaming, comes this amazing freedom. Freedom to think of yourself, your actions, and circumstances as independent of others; the knowing that no one is responsible for you, and that you are not responsible for anyone else, also comes.