Overview of Section Two:

The Four Cornerstones of Family Recovery

Now that you’ve become acquainted with the three relationships, there are four things you will need to be aware of to take your recovery to the next level. These interactive ideas about recovery can spell the difference between continuing to view your loved one as a pathetic person who is purposefully trying to hurt you and seeing them as a human being struggling in ways that you can only help with tools you have not yet learned!

These Four Cornerstones of Recovery are a great place to start your recovery journey as well. They let you know that your loved one’s journey is theirs to take and begin to give you tools to better understand them and yourself in relationship to them, along with ways to actually cope with the situation you have landed in.

Here is a Brief Overview of each:

The Four C’s are as old as the Alanon hills, yet not everyone in Alanon knows there are four! Most have been taught only three! They are guide posts to understanding which part of your addicted loved one’s situation is YOUR fault (none of it),which part you can control (none of it), which part you can fix (none of it).  But the fourth C lets you know that you are NOT completely off the hook! You, as a family member, have the ability and the power to contribute to their continued using or their potential recovery. To find out more, read chapter four: The Four C’s.

The Six Stages of Change model was developed by a researcher whose own father died of alcoholism. When Dr. James Prochaska, PhD,  was a boy, he watched his father lose his battle with the bottle and began to wonder what helps people make huge changes in their lives and what keeps them from doing so. In college he studied psychology and later, he led a group of researchers to study every psychological change model to figure out which of those models would be most useful to those struggling with changing destructive habits. Instead, he found that when the models were used was more important than which models were used. The value of understanding this model cannot be overestimated as a way to help you help your loved ones – and yourself as you struggle to let go of their using.

Breath Through Each Moment is all about how conscious breathing can help us get through the most difficult times with much greater ease. Having a regular meditation practice each day is optimal, but even taking a few moments here and there to simply breathe deeply and slowly can make a real difference in your life! This chapter will give you ideas of ways to implement both options into your life, and just learning these techniques can be life changing and help you make tremendous progress toward becoming a loving mirror.

You are Your Addict’s Best Chance of Recovery! Understanding this cornerstone can have a profound impact on your ability to have a positive influence on your loved one. For years, family members struggle to help their loved ones. It’s just that the  methods they use often make things worse. Things like yelling, begging, guilting, coercing, manipulating, etc., turn you into a nag and your loved one into someone who does not want to be anywhere near you. By learning what works best when communicating with an addict and what doesn’t, you have a better chance of  helping your loved one decide to get well. While there are no guarantees, there is no harm in increasing your chances through learning more effective tools for living and communicating. And, this is what this cornerstone is all about.

As you move forward through the Four Cornerstones Chapters, you will find yourself better equipped to do the work to Become a Loving Mirror™, one page and one day at a time!

Looking forward to getting this book to you in the near future!

Best,

Coach Bev

Beverly A. Buncher, MA, PCC, CTPC

Family Recovery Coach

beverlybuncher.com

12stepfamily.com

786 859 4050

Call me for a complimentary session and let’s see how Family Recovery Coaching can help you move forward with your life and help your loved one do so as well!