I have a developed a model of family recovery called the Four Foundations of Family Recovery© (and have a forthcoming book I’m writing by that name).

Its premise is that these four foundations (self-care, being a loving person, setting boundaries, and getting support) hold within them all that a parent or spouse needs to begin and fortify a healthy recovery journey for themselves, which will deeply affect not only their life but that of their addicted loved one as well.

I have worked with clients on developing these four foundations© in their lives and would be happy to do so with you if it is of interest.

You may read an introduction to them on this blog (www.12stepfamily.com) in the March 7-11 entries. These four foundations can give us a framework for working together.

Taking a look at the Four Foundations of Family Recovery© in the blog entries mentioned above and as summarized below, answer the following questions. If you wish, you can send your answers to me at bbuncher@theempowermentcoach.net and we can use them as a starting point for a complimentary coaching session :

1. What questions do you have about the Four Foundations©?
2. Where are you in making them a reality in your life?
3. Where would you like to be?

Self Care – taking care of one’s self (hygiene, health, physical fitness, personal and professional responsibilities, emotions, mental health, spiritual well-being regardless of what is going on with the addict)

Being a Loving Person – (treating all of the addicts and non-addicts in one’s life with respect, understanding that all people are, at their core, whole and healthy regardless of how they are presenting in any one moment. This includes not doing for another person what he or she can do for her or himself, not name calling or yelling, listening, sharing your truth calmly and without judgment, being your best self in relations to yourself and others. Being a loving person to yourself is where it all begins and it radiates out from there. Mirroring what you see the addict doing in a non-judgmental fashion is a key part of this process (which we will explore in the coaching relationship)

Setting Boundaries – This means setting boundaries for ONE’S OWN benefit. One does not set boundaries to control or change the addict, but rather to insure that one’s own sanity and inner peace are kept where one wants them to be. Boundary setting is crucial to being in relationship with an addict and is one of the main things that breaks down (along with the other three foundations) when one is in the thick of one’s own co-addiction. Boundaries can be set around time, possessions, living arrangements, money or any other thing one wants to set boundaries around. They are most settable and keepable and effective when set in concert with one living the other three foundations rather than in isolation.

Getting Support – Perhaps this could be the first foundation rather than the fourth as without support it is very very difficult to implement the other three. Support can include whatever you use to help you live in recovery from the disease of co-addiction: Alanon, Nar-Anon, having a recovery coach, having a therapist, supportive friends and family to talk to, etc.

The message of this week is YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE!

There is help for you and it is as near as your phone!

I challenge you to assess where you are in setting your four foundations into place and offer you a chance to talk about where you are and where you would like to be!

For more information, give me a call and let’s talk! Or if you would like to receive more information about the four foundations through email, send me an email to let me know at bbuncher@theempowermentcoach.net.

Coach Bev

Beverly A. Buncher, MA, CEC
Family Recovery Coach
786 859 4050
www.theempowermentcoach.net
www.12stepfamily.com
www.lifepurposeinrecovery.com
www.intherooms.com

Last chance to join the nine week teleseminar on Life Purpose in Recovery starting this week!
call for more info or check out www.lifepurposeinrecovery.com